Monday, December 31, 2007

Work Resolve

Happy New Year to all, may it be happy, health and full of everything you hope it to be.

I thought on this resolution post that I would start with my professional life . If you have been reading this blog already know that my job has been anything but pleasant for the last year. I am contemplating striking out on my own and living the freelance life. I like the job security that comes with most full-time positions, but what I don't like is not having control over my destiny. I don't want to be stuck in a place where you have to wait 10 years for someone to die before you are promoted. I love the place and what it stands for and I will always have some connection to it be it a part-time job or as a member. For all of you have come in late I currently work for a Y in a town near by. I also have had a bunch of random ideas for projests floating around in my head and one in particular that I would like to commit to paper and see if I can get off the ground.

So here it is the first of my New Year's Resolutions:

I resolve that in the year 2008 I will do something everyday to further my career in a direction that will allow me to have more control over my destiny. When it comes to my career I will create a time line so that my goals will be met and not just exist in the ether of my mind as dreams yet to be fulfilled.

Next post will have what I will resolve to do in my personal life followed by the most important resolution of all, what I will do in 2008 in poker.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Is not making a resolution a resolution anyway?

It's that time of year where we sit down with ourselves and decide if we are going to make any resolutions for the up coming year. I usually resolve to not make any resolution at New Year's time because this date seems rather arbitrary to me. Can't we make resolution on the 5th of October? Why is January 1st any better? If you are Jewish do you make them on Rosh Hashanah? I have been someone that thinks that life is an on going project that needs evaluation and revamping periodically as situations dictate. This past year though I feel like I have been doing just that becuase I have had so many situations that needed my attention.

The only thing you can rely is that there is nothing that you can rely on. That is not to say that there are people you can't rely on but that situations in life that we think are firm and sure are neither. No matter how confident you are that you are safe in one situation there is always a possibility that things can change and this is neither good nor bad it just is. I do believe, even with that said, that this year I am going to make some resolutions. I feel I have been stuck in a bit of a rut for the past year or so and I really need to lay down some goals to achieve. Goals have timetables and dreams don't and all I have had lately is dreams.

Over the next couple of days I will list my resolutions/goals here for all to see in the hope that making them public will help me stick to them.

Friday, December 28, 2007

I think I'm playing well...I think?

I have looked at the numbers and other than my bankroll that is getting smaller and I truly think that I am making all the right moves and just getting sucked out on. I have been back to playing O8 and I can't even count the number of times I have been counterfeited, or have a flush lose to a full house two outer with no other draw. I know this sounds like a bad beat rant but it's just been incredible and I have to vent and watching my wife sitting at her laptop shaking her head every time I have some sort of outburst is no solace. I ran so well for so long and I keep thinking this is just variance but dammit it's a Vitch. Oh well I guess maybe I'll switch games for a while or just hope for the cards to run to me instead of over me.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Old Mug

Can a coffee mug make you feel right with the world? I have this coffee mug and I am not sure quite when I got it, if I bought it for myself or if it was a gift. I know that I got around the time of my first marriage back in '92 which meant that I got custody of it in the separation in '93, the long story of the short marriage is for another post. The mug is done by Masters Collection and is an Untitled Picasso. It was exclusively used as my home coffee mug. I had another for work which is also from the same collection but is call "A Man in a Hammock" by Albert Gleizes. Both Cubist and for whatever reason spoke to me, but the Picasso always seemed to say more.

At some point I moved in with my parents while I got back on my feet. I met my current wife, fell in love, got married and moved out. For some reason the Picasso mug got left behind and I don't know why. I have to say that it is my all time favorite coffee mug and I would use it exclusively when I would have coffee at my Mom's place. I have been meaning to claim it and bring home to roost with me for I don't know how many years now. It has be part of my life through marriage, success, failure, death, numerous moves by me and my mother. I was at my Mom's this weekend for a family get together and I decided that it was time for me to take it home so it could serve its purpose every morning.

For the most part I'm not a sentimental person. I take the Buddhist line of thinking that we shouldn't become attached to anything because that attachment is the cause our suffering. With that said I don't think I have been suffering for the last several years that I have been separated from the mug but the comfort that it gives me makes sense in my world right now and I will have to see if it is the cause of any undue suffering. I don't really have that favorite T shirt, or flannel pants that most do, but a warm cup of coffee in my favorite mug just makes sense to me.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Haven't had much to say

Things have been going fairly well for me over the last few weeks. Work, as my last post has indicated, had to get better and it has. I am just a month away form being at my current job for five years and this is one of the longest tenure that I have had at any job. Granted that most of that was at part-time or just shy of full-time so no benefits could be paid. I find working for the Y a very fulling job, that is in the doing something to benefit all of society kind of way. I would just like the benefit my salary kind of way. This job has allowed me to be involved in the first almost 4 years of life of my daughter's life that I could not have had for all the money in the world. Now it's tie to get down to business and get to work at making some real money and as soon as I hit it big I will be glad to benefit society and write a nice check. Oh by the way I got nice watch at a breakfast the Y threw for us and some killer steak and egg burritos, so I guess it's all good.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Old Boss, No Boss, New Boss

The stupid evil one is gone the nicer newer boss is in and I had a good day at Foxwoods. It was a nice way to say goodbye to November and hello to December. I was able to tuck away a nice tidy win at the $2/4 table which was done in typical fashion for this level. Didn't get involved in too many hands in the 5 hours that I was there but my good ones held up and the marginal holdings improved enough. The most amazing thing was that I got pocket Kings two times in a row on the button and they held each time, well no Ace fell on the board because it was an Ace trash type of day up there.

In my last post I was moaning and groaning about my position in life when it has came to my career and now at least I don't dread showing up for my job now. I still think that striking out on my own may be the best possible solution. The thing is now I have some breathing room and I can set my plans down better and not have the feeling of desperation that I have had in the past few months. It seemed like the obstacles in my job were starting to seep into my personal life and effect many aspects of things be it my relationship with my family, poker playing or just driving around town. Fresh outlook, a bit of padding in bankroll, Christmas is coming, what more could a guy want? Well I could think of a few things but these will have to do for now ;p

Thursday, October 18, 2007

New Boss, Same as The Old Boss

There comes a time in your life that you have to realize that the universe is trying to teach you something and if you could just open you mind and go with your gut you just might be able to hear what it is. Over the past ten months I have had to do too much soul searching about my life and mainly how my current employment is affecting it, then I would have like to. I believe I am finally coming to a point where I can't deny what it is that the universe is telling. I have had a very varied and interesting professional life but as I have said before here I have consistently had a good thing ruined by new management. I have looked at my response to the change and I have always given them the benefit of the doubt only to be trampled on. I also realize that this time I just may be in a pissing match and have refuse to quit and move on because that would give him just what he wants, but it just might be exactly what I need to do. I have many reasons to stay there but just one to leave and the pros have out weighed the con but the con is starting to take a toll on my life and my psyche. As much as I would love to win a seat in the latest addition of the WPT that is taking place up at Foxwoods in a couple of weeks, I know that is dream that may not come to be. I have allowed my fate to be in the control of others too many times in the past and I think I will only be happy when I take control and responsibility for it myself. As much as I would love to find out if I could cut my teeth grinding it out at the tables the reality is that it's just not a viable option right now. I am going to take another avocation and try to make into a vocation and use poker as a diversion and supplement to my new endeavor. I am starting to lay down the ground work and I think in the next couple of months I will be able to make my move and even if by miracles of miracles senior management sees the errors of their ways and fire Mr. Stupid I think I will still leave and strike out on my own. It will be best for me.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

...Good Day at Work.

A bad day of poker is better than a good day of work. Well it almost was a bad day but I pulled out a small profit in the end but was it ever hard fought. I know when you are playing $2/4 at Foxwoods it sometimes can get a bit frustrating. I was better than the last time I went up there I was lucky to walk out with what little profit I did, it was amazingly sedate that day. There was bit more energy there yesterday. The games at that level up there always are loose passive types and there isn't much you can do, but put your head down and hope that the chasers stay there long enough that when you do get you big pairs they chase their draws and the odds turn on them. It was one of those days of tight up front loose in the back and most of those paid off for me but it was up and down, more down then up, for most of the day. When I got there the just called a new table and it took some time to get the feel for what was going on. There wasn't much raising pre-flop because it rarely did anything to thin the field, in for one why not two kind of thinking. This only gave the other players to more reason to chase even though I don't think any of them had any idea of pot odds. In the course of my play I got pocket Aces twice, Kings,Queens and Big Slick once and raised every time and they held up. I might as well have turn my hand up it was so transparent but nobody really pays attention so this made up for all of the river suck outs when I would flop two pair with over cards and someone would stick it out and trip up on the river, lost count how many times that happened. I still had fun and as long as I leave the table with more than I came with whether it is $2 or $200 it's still better then a good day at work.

I also was amazed that someone would straddle a this level. This old lady who sat down and won one pot off the top decided that a straddle bet would go good with a Mai Tai with Meyers dark and whipped cream on a cold rainy day at low limit hold'em in a casino in the hills of Connecticut. I was sitting to her left and was the benefactor of her folly one time. I guess if I was going to gamble it up I would at least follow through with a bet on the flop regardless of my two cards. The time I was able to beat her she check called me to the river with a pair of threes and a eight kicker. Got to love it. Then there was the young studious guy who just couldn't catch a break every time he had a good hand someone would make one just slightly better. Young loose guy got lucky a couple of times playing trash hands but pretty much broke even for the day, he even tried bluffing out a table of calling stations. Angry old guy in the ten seat who would check in the dark if he had middle pair or was on draw and would only bet or raise when he had a lock. Or kind old lady to my left who would call with small flushes and lose to bigger ones. Just your typical day of low limit Hold'em at the biggest casino in the world. I am looking forward to when my bankroll is healthy enough to move up a level. I won't even talk about the Act I sitn'go for the Foxwoods World Poker Finals I was first out and was beat by a stack that was being blinded out because he was in another sitn'go. The high point of this game was I drew the Ace of spades for the button and it was all down hill from there. Not good, not good at all.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Freeroll For Bloggers

PokerStars is doing it yet again an offering a freeroll with $40,000 in prizes just for bloggers.

Poker Tournament

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7124549

I played in one last year had a great time. If you have blog and like poker click through and sign up. Nothing to lose but plenty to win. See you on the felt.

Monday, September 3, 2007


The letter B and V are very confusing when speaking Spanish. En EspaƱol they are pronounce so close I have played the "Beh" "Veh" game with the Spanish speaking crew at work more than once. That is after this week of playing online I am going to call what I have gone through VITCH.
We all say that variance is a bitch so why not shorten it. You would think from this post that I continued on the downward cycle but I finally made it all back. I understand that it is part of the process and I would like to say that the downside of variance doesn't effect my play, but damn does it shake my confidence. I feel that every move that I make is wrong and it goes back to when you are running bad you are probably not playing as bad as you think and when you are running good you are probably not playing as well as you think. I think I was still playing smart but I never would have guess. I won it all back and am no worst off today then I was last Monday but it was definitely was a vitch of a week.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Hard Way to Make a Easy Living

It seemed like a good idea at the time. I had this great idea that after I drop the munchkin off at preschool for the morning I would put in some serious time playing poker. It would be going fine if I could figure out what the hell is happening to me in my Heads Up matches. Now, I know it is the lowest limit of O/8 that I can play on FullTillt but I have had the most awful run of cards I have seen lately and I can't even blame it on going up limits to quickly, which is usually when I crash and burn. I really haven't looked over my hands in PokerTracker to see if I am playing like the donkey I feel I have been. The second best everything hitting the call button when I know I should fold, OH POKER GODS WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!!!!! Alright I may be getting a bit dramatic and it's not like I have even taken a huge chunk out of my roll, It just sucks!!! I have made back about half of what I lost all week in one huge hand playing .05/.10 PLO. I flopped the nut straight but without any good redraws and I knew exactly what the other guy had but I couldn't fold, he had all of the redraws and for once this week they didn't get there for him. I guess it made up for some of the other suck outs I was on the other end of the rest of the week. I could share with you all of the bad beats but it still seems to surreal to me right now. I would still like to take the few hours I have alone at the house on those morning to turn this poker thing into a profitable side thing or maybe I'll just take up something safe like day trading ;)

On a side note all of this has made me think about my life in a way that you would think I hit bottom from an addiction and have started on my twelve steps. It's not quite that bad but I will share with you all when I have a better handle on whatever it is that I am going through. Work, life, poker and my own inner voice all need a serious revamp and I may have to go to a professional for help. I have suffered from a severe identity crisis before, not just once a few times, but I feel I have a bunch more on the line at this point in my life to go through this on my own. My wife will support me in anything that I want to do and I love her for it more then she probably knows but I need an objective eye to help me lift the curtain on whatever it is that is gnawing at me.

Monday, August 27, 2007

She's Leaving Home...

Three years and go by so fast, make that three and a half, and all of a sudden the munchkin is going off to preschool. I could get all mushy but all I will say they grow up so fast and I cherish all of the moments that I have had with her so far. As soon as she started to babble I needed to hear her talk, wondering what her voice would sound like, now I can't wait to see the girl she is going to grow into.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Nothing Complex

Some days you wish that your days are as complex as a three years old's. In some ways their lives are forth with indecision, be it which toy it is that you are going to play with or which piece of your dinner you are going to throw against the wall. I wish some days that was all I had to worry about but needless to say I am 37 years older than my daughter and I have many more things to worry about.

I have never shied away from responsibility but some days I would like to not having anything to think about other than what to eat, if I should play poker or go to the beach for the day. It seems my job is giving me to much to think about and it's not like I am making life or death decisions. I don't pilot jet planes with hundreds of passengers that will die if I make a mistake or even some doctor that if I give the wrong drug to someone it will have adverse reaction an kill them. I work at local YMCA as member services coordinator. I love the place and I have been sucked into the whole Y experience. I enjoy working for a place that is more about helping people and families then it is about making money.

The only problem is I now have a boss that is stupid man with a Neopolian complex. Now I know that you believe that everyone thinks that their boss is stupid and I am just whining, but really he is. He sold the upper management a bill of goods that he has yet to deliver on and most everyone is calling his bluff. Now if I was working in government or the CIA I would call this business as usual. The fact of the matter is I am working for a non-profit that grossly underpays all of it workers but we are all there for reasons other than making a million dollars (that's what poker is for). We should all be working for a common cause united in our mission to improve the lives of the people of our community.

I have worked for more companies and in a great variety of careers than my forty years of life should indicate. I have interned as singer/actor at a professional theatre and received 20 points towards my union card, was a production assistant for a number of network series, worked as a waiter in restaurants with sizzling fajitas three inches from my head, did dance routines on the dining room floor to bad disco tunes, or work in a high end bistro with temperamental chefs. At a dinner theater with a producer that had two bad knees from a fail dancing career and choose to take it out on us that she wasn't the next up coming to be discovered by Fosse and knew we all saw through the fact that she added an e with accent to her name to change it from Berger to Berger`e trust me she wasn't French. I have taught music to inner city kids in the South Bronx and survived lunch room duty only armed with a bullhorn and my quick wit. I have directed a local cable new cast with a news anchor who never addressed me by name. The thing is that it's this current job a the Y that is giving me the most angst.

The fact of the matter is I made some personal decisions that I can live with but may have worked against me in my current position. I choose not to go full-time right after the munchkin was born and I wouldn't give back any of that for the world. The time I have gotten be with her is worth more than anything that I could have gotten paid in any job. I think my current boss doesn't think there is any value in that or he recognizes that I have his number an would rather have me go away but I won't. The last crazy boss I had was just bipolar but he actually knew something about the field that he was working in. This guy I got has no clue and is only about him. to top it of he had hired someone above me that I am not sure if she can become my ally just yet and I don't know what it is that he is whispering in her ear. It is really sad that I am thinking about this in this way but I guess just like in poker we all have to think on a couple of levels and be one step ahead of your opponent. I have pushed my hand once and know I feel like on am on the bubble and I am going to have to push with a 7 2 off suit.

I could score big the next time I go up to Foxwoods and this could all be moot. ;p

Friday, August 24, 2007

The Truth of Lies

An interrogator for a Mexican drug lord is trying to get some information from a suspect. He realizes that she is vague about most things but has a precise alibi ready for the night he is questioning her about. This is her mistake. As he puts it: "A professional liar knows that the key is not to make his lies sound like the truth. It is to make the truth sound like lies…"

I found the over on BiggerDeal and it just struck a cord with me and I think It has great relevance to my poker playing. Grub Smith writes and interesting article about what I have been feeling about my tourney play for awhile. I haven't been able to break out of it. In all of my live play, I know I haven't played aggressive enough and even online in MTTs I definitely haven't. The funny thing is Playing Single table Sitn'gos I have been able to pick my spots better, when to ratchet it up and when not to. The ebb and flow of just nine players is easier for me to deal with. I have to play MTTs like it's a Sitn'go, being I should only worry about the others guys at my table and not worry about the rest of the field. Once I have a bit more time in my life I will start playing more big field tourneys until then I will stick with the HU or Single table Sngs.

Back to the above quote. I also have to convince the other players that I am lying when I am telling the truth and telling the truth when I am lying. I guess that last sentence pretty much sums up what it means to play poker. I think my HU Sng play has help me realize how important that is. I haven't been playing big buy ins in HU but I have found that the above philosophy has help me get closer to that third level of thinking in my play. All of this is tied together. What do I have, what does he have, and most importantly what does he think I have and how can I use it. The last level is achieved by getting your opponent to believe the lies that are truth and truth are lies.

That's it I solved it! Now only if I can use it. ;)

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Heads Up and Down

When you dance and you have to take the lead or you're lost.

I have been playing mostly Heads Up Tourneys and it has been great, meaning in lessons of how to play just ok in the profit range. I like concentrating on just one player and their tendencies and try to exploit it. Right now I am playing between $2 and $10 over on FullTilt and have a small profit to show for it. I start off good playing O/8 then hit a bad batch over the weekend but I earned it all back playing Hold'em. I have been mixing it up with No Limit and Pot Limit. I am kind of getting fond of pot limit for these heads up matches I like the fact that it takes time to build the pot and you just don't have to be a push monkey. The one thing that I have notice, and maybe it's because it low limit, but most of the players don't raise enough on the button and really play hands that are a bit to predictable. Pocket pairs, Ace anything and two paint suited or not just don't happen enough and you must open up your range of hands that you are willing to play. Looking over my PokerTracker stats I noticed that I haven't gotten to many playable hands but I have won more then I have lost and that means I am doing something right.

O/8 is a different story. I have found limping in and only raising with the best hands have worked well. The only reason I have not done any better over this weekend is that I second guessed my gut. I was almost always right with my first impression each time win or lose. I have to remember that the goal of O/8 is to scoop and if I can't be drawing to the nuts one way or the other then I have to give it up to pressure. I just have to go with my gut in this game and remember it's a Omaha High or split is a game of redraws and just because you flop the nuts doesn't always mean you are the favorite.

Another thing about these HU matches is that you can win or lose in one hand and I did just that on two occasions. The one I lost I was the clear favorite when the chips went in but I died at the river and the one I won I couldn't find any reason that he called other he really had to go to the bathroom and for got to buy the Depends so he could just soil himself. It's the yin and yang that is my reality.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

If the Wall won't Fall Go around it...

Why can something work so well one place but seem to be such a challenge somewhere else? That is the question that I am asking myself these days.

I have been chronicling my exploits at rebuilding my bankroll over on PokerStars in a couple of entries here. I started with $100 and played .25/.50 O8 until I double up my bankroll. I have been successful even in the limited time that I have had to play. I have moved up a level and have only been able to play one night there because when I have time to play I seem to always get to the tables when there are already 4 people on the wait list. Who knew .50/1.00 was so popular. So I figure my FullTilt account could use a injection of cash so lets try this over there. Even though I have a bit more cash in that account I thought I would do the same thing and start with the .25/.50 and build it up till I made a hundred more. Sounds sane now doesn't it.

I have been doing this for a week now and I have made some initial progress and then I hit the most incredible wall. I would flop the nuts for the low only to get counterfeited on the river more times then I can count. I would hit the nuts for the high and a scoop and the board would pair and I would lose to the most improbable full house. I have a love hate relationship with FullTilt the ring games have never seemed kind to me but I have a a +EV at the sitn'gos there. I know we should do what we do best at and maybe it's just that I like the challenge of these games but for some reason, that I assume a psychologist could get to the bottom of, I still play because I do believe I can beat it . I feel that if I can beat these games at a certain level on one site I should be able to beat them on another. I was playing on Monday night and wasn't going anywhere so I sat down at some HU sit'ngos and totally ruled and recouped some of my losses from earlier. Then for some reason last night I didn't do that again, no I needed to grind it out at the O/8 table and the bad beats and never getting there continued. There just seems to be this immovable force for me at the ring games at this site that I can't seem to move. I have a way around it but something inside of me just wants the satisfaction of figuring out how to knock it down. I guess it's just my stubborn nature that has gotten me in this mess just like it has in other areas of my life. I just have to face up to it and admit that the time has come to try it a different way, in poker and in life.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

More is Always Better

A win is a win is a win. No matter how you cut it, more is always better and I don't care how small it is. I finally had time to sit down at a O/8 table at the next level and my only gaol for the night was to post a win. I only won a $1.35 but it was worth it and I have step off in the right direction. I take whatever I can get. I hope to post much more on the positive side soon.

Till next time Goodnight and Good Luck!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Movin' on Up...

Movin' on up to the next level. My patience has paid off and I will be raising the stakes in my O/8 game. I started with a goal a while ago and half of it was to rebuild my bankroll on PokerStars and half of it was to see if I could stick to a plan. It was to basically to double up my roll and not to move up a level until I achieved that goal. Well I this mission has been completed and I am ready to set off on the next one. As soon as I have decide what the goal is for the next level I will post it here but more importantly if I start to run bad when will I drop back down a level? That is really the question and I throw it out there, should it be a percentage of my roll or a simple monetary level? I will sleep on it tonight and face the next level tomorrow night.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Not a Post

This is not a post because every time I have posted about how good I have been running I have taken a nose dive. I will not post about the fact that I am just a couple of dollars away from my O/8 goal on Pokerstars or that I have been very disciplined and not jump up a level yet. I also will not post about the fact that I have done some great hit and runs on FullTilt to rebuild that bankroll there or that I have been very happy with my play even when I have taken a hit. I repeat this is not a post, this is not a post, poker gods hear me now THIS IS NOT A POST!!!!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Hopeful Fool

I posted this in response to a post by Otis over on Up for Poker about his concern with the next generation and what that means to all of us in general and also what it means to the poker world:

"I work for a local YMCA and deal with kids of all ages and some days I worry. I worry because I also get to know the parents and I realize it is more than the next generation, it's every one. It's the level of entitlement that concerns me most.

I also get to meet some great kids that I actually enjoy their company and am happy to have made their acquaintance and seen them grow in to decent young adults. They are out there and it gives me hope, it keeps me coming back to work every day."

There are good and bad people in any field of work and you can become an angry old man and shake you fist at the young whippersnappers out there and dream of days gone past when everyone tip their hats and said good day to you as they past you on the street. Then again you can realize that there has been assholes in every generation that will do whatever they need to to further their cause good, bad or other. What does concern me is this sense that they deserve it just because they want it. I have kids come up to me at work and ask me for a dollar so the can get a snack from the vending machine. This isn't because they are poor, it's just because they want it and want it now and when I tell them to get over it I am the one in the wrong because I didn't just give them what they wanted. This is just one of the hundred of examples of what I encounter. Then I meet the parents of these kids and it all becomes very clear. I could get into the sociology and psychology of all this, I am sure there are others out there who can explain it better than me, but my theory has to do with the Boomer generation, infertility treatments, nannies and McMansions (but that is post for another day).

I also have met some amazing kids that I have had the honor of seeing growing into very nice young adults. It gives me hope and if I really think about it there are more of them out there. They go unnoticed because they don't need the attention, they're getting it elsewhere and in a positive way. We all do focus on the negative because it is usually the most obvious but we all should take the time and give the attention that the good deserves.

In poker you have to have a certain amount of arrogance to be successful at the tables. You have to, at some point, make people believe that you are better than them. There is a way to do that with respect and dignity that allows players you have felted retain some self respect and have them still want to play with you because you are a decent person not because they want to seek revenge. I tend to give respect to people at the table and away from the table that don't ask or demand but deserve. Every person deserves a certain level of respect until they prove otherwise. Even if someone doesn't deserve respect I tend to be the type that will give them more than they deserve and that is what being a decent human being,even when you are surrounded by a bunch of animals, is all about.

We can all feel that there is no hope for all of us because the next generation doesn't understand what it is all about. This has been going on as long as there has been more than one generation on this planet. What really disturbs me is seeing grow adults acting this way. I feel most of this "me" attitude goes away what with age but the ones that still persist into middle age scare me the most. We all went through fazes in life that we can look back at an say we were assholes and it's the fact that we can is a sign that we have grown and learned what was needed. I think most of these young guns that are at the table disrespecting the game and the people that play it will go away, go broke or give up. Some will learn and be complaining about the young guys coming up a decade after them. Then again some will be successful and become Phil Hellmuth and will be booed when after winning a record setting 11 bracelets at the WSOP. Just like there is only one Hellmuth out there and many other players that give and receive respect, there are more regular people out there that are give more than don't. So I guess I may be perceived as a hopeful fool but so be it I can live with it and it allows me to face each day instead of becoming a hermit living in a cave.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Still Waiting...

So close and yet so far still. That goal I have set for myself over on Pokerstars to rebuild my bankroll seems to have hit a plateau. I had a couple of bad runs in the last weeks and made up for it last night. I have been playing Omaha8 and I looked over an old spread sheet I had to track my play online before I purchased PokerTracker. It looks like I deposited about $250 in the account when I started and right now I am down about $60 which is great because a one point I was down more than half. I know that I am not talking about thousand even hundreds of dollars but it is all relative. I have been very careful not to deposit anymore than I'm able to afford to lose, but the fact of the matter is that I hate to lose. I don't care if I am playing .05/.10 or 2/4 I always want to walk away with more then I came to the table with. What does all of this have to do with waiting for anything, well I have been playing O/8 exclusively there, meaning that is the only game I will play on that sight. I have been playing at the .25/.50 level and I had been down to less than $100 and I have turn that around to about $190 as of last night. I am waiting to hit $200 before I move up to the next level, I am making that statement publicly and I will not go back on it. I will also go back down a level if my bankroll hits $150. There I have put it out there and I ask you all to keep me honest and and make sure that I stick to the plan. I have moved up too fast before and have suffered the consequences. Now my sitn'go challenge over on FullTilt that I started a while ago is still on track I just have been concentrating on other games and haven't really put in much time on that but I am still have a positive ROI on those. Further updates to follow.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Three Brothers

I was the younger brother to my sister, my only sibling, but I still had two brothers. When I was five we moved around the corner into the house that I wasn't born in but do call it my childhood home. The new neighborhood was a world different then the one I came from. The neighbors next door had two sons at the time, Mike and Pete, Mike was my age and Pete was two years younger. I was a little boy who didn't know how to act around boys, I was small, skinny and prone to crying. The other neighbors, across the street, were older and meaner then anyone I had ever met before and would send me home crying to mommy more times then I would care to admit. Mike, Pete and I created a bound that I can't even understand even looking back at it as an adult. I learned about playing touch football, whiffle ball and jumping our bikes off mounds of dirt. Mike was the football player who could swim better then anyone I knew and Pete, even though he suffered with tourette syndrome, was charming, good looking and an incredible athlete even at 4 years old. When Mike was nine he started to suffer from spells where he would blank out and it was discovered that he had a brain tumor. One day he went to the hospital and came back with a shaved head and an enormous scar on his head. A summer of radiation treatments and he was declared cured and life went on.

We did all the stuff that brothers would do together, underage beer drinking, porn mags and cigarettes. We grew up, we went away to college, they moved across town. Other than a couple of Christmas gift exchanges, 2 wedding receptions and a wake, we lost touch. At Mike's wedding reception I found out that Pete was in rehab and wasn't doing well. I only saw him one more time a couple of years later. Then five years ago I found out that after being almost 25 years cancer free Mike was dying of what he thought he had been cured of so many years before. He died in the spring of 2003 and Pete was asked not to come to his funeral. He was not in any shaped to be there and his family had broken off almost all relations with him. Last month Pete died as well and even though no one was saying of what I knew it definitely was not cancer. Even though I hadn't seen him in almost a decade, I felt a very profound sense of lost with hearing this news.

I went to the funeral and when I heard Pete's youngest brother Kyle give the eulogy I was hit with that fact that this was a life that didn't need to be extinguished at 38 years old. As sad as Mike's death was I felt that he was living on borrowed time as it was and there was nothing that he could do about it. He had gotten married and had two great kids and was happy with his life. Pete on the other had had so much to offer the world and he used it to hurt himself and the people who were closest to him.

I don't know if I was involved in his life during our adulthood if I would have had any effect on his character or would have been just another person that he would have hurt, just like he had done to those who were closest to him. I would have like to have had a chance to have him hurt me and instead of sitting in that church and not only feeling bad for his parents who had to bury another child, but for myself for letting time and space come in the way of a friend that was more a brother to me than anyone else I have know since.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Taking Control

I have found that I have been in too many situations in my adult life that I have not had control of what was happening to me. For whatever reason I have suffered on the delusion that if I did what was expected of me or even if I didn't the awesomeness that was me would show through and I would be elevated to whatever stature that I felt should be bestowed upon me. Needless to say I have suffered from some serious disappointments.

I was always fortunate that things came to me easily as a child, school, friends, my music, alright not everything, I always had horrible handwriting even from a very young age, which prompt my first grade teacher to tell my mother I would never amount to much if I didn't fix it (can you imagine) and the one and only summer Iplayed little league was probably the most traumatic of my life. I breezed through school, I got into the only college I applied to, I got into the school musicals, I played lead sax in the jazz band, and I was drum major for the marching band. All of this really came to me without much effort I just did it and it happened. Needless to say once I got out of school and the real world came crashing in on me things didn't always happened the way they did in the past. I have been passed up for promotions, didn't get jobs I thought I was over qualified for, or just wouldn't get the interviews.

I have found myself in another one of these bad type of situations once again at work an it has lead to a bit of soul searching on my part. I have questioned what has allowed me to be in this type of situation and what I could do to change this pattern in my life. At 40 years old you would think I would have learned, being that I have been working as a responsible adult for almost half of my life and really don't have much to show for other than a rather diverse resume.

I do believe that I may have been the type of person that should have worked for himself and not have to deal with a boss or back stabbing co-workers. I have had many interesting and fun jobs that I have felt very fulfilled doing, but nothing has stuck or I have been on the short end of the stick with the higher ups. I finally decide that I am to old to be dealing with this Bullshit and pushed my hand at work. I guess playing sitn'go type poker has crept into my daily life.

I tend to play sitn'gos with patience in the first few levels, pick my spots but wait until a couple of guys get knocked out before making my moves. The only thing that is that I think is that I pushed a work with a short stack on the bubble it even though I have survived I really didn't add that much to my stack. Poker has help realize that the best type of poker played is the best way to lead one's life. Tight Aggressive play works in most all situations. I have waited through a few levels here but now it has come to push all in or get blinded out of a job. Just like in a tournament I would rather go out when I push with the best of it and got out flopped than sit around until I am felted with a 7 2 off suit.

I think I have a few more rounds to play before I have to push, but my stack is starting to dwindle and patience is going to pay off. Even inaction is taking some sort of action but I would rather be seen a person forcing then action then having it take me over. I think this maybe my new philosophy in life as I have tried for it to be in poker.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Almost there

I have impressed myself with my disciple. I have been playing O8 on Pokerstars and have set a bankroll goal before I move up a level and I am so close to that mark that I can taste it. The me of about 6 months ago would have pushed it and jump a level already, since I have been running rather well, but I won't until I make it. It has been up and down for the most part for the last week or so and I just can't quite get past that line. In the past I have jump up levels and I have lost all of the gains I had made and then some. I am looking forward to the new challenge that awaits me soon. The game can be frustrating at times but for the most part I am enjoying the challenge of it and it's always good to expand your horizons and hold'em has been getting tired for me as a ring game. I played it a bit over then weekend and I still have a knack for it but I have had a much more positive run with O8 right now so I will stick with it as long as it is treating me well.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

No Shoes, No Service...

I standing there at the gas pump looking around as I was annoyed with the fact that the little thingie that allows me to clean my windows while I am pumping gas was missing and I had to hold the lever. A white Bonneville pulls up and what I notice first is that the man getting out of the car is not wearing shoes. This isn't to odd because it is summer here on the coast of Connecticut and the guy was wearing shorts. It was odd that he chose to wear tube socks to compliment his shorts but chose not to wear any shoes. He was also wearing an astounding obvious toupee, so his sense of style was definitely impaired. I have accepted the fact that I am 40 years old, my hair is slowly turning gray which I can also accept and it also may be thinning on top which, for me, is a bit harder to accept. My father was bald and I used to tell him that I never wanted to lose my hair, I started telling him this I think when I was 3 years old. My father came of age in the fifties and if you could have seen the head of hair he had all slicked up in a curly pompadour you would think he would have bought a toupee when he went bald. He never did and he also was never a victim of the dreaded comb over. I always admired him for the fact that he was so self assured that hair on his never made him feel any less of a man. So, I can tell you for sure that I will never pull into a Cumberland Farms store to buy my lottery tickets or a six pack in white late model American sedan wearing a toupee, shorts and tube socks with no shoes. I will definitely be driving a BMW ;)

Not much going on

I haven't really been doing much of anything, the munchkin is doing all her stuff and we are getting a break from all the parent-tot classes for a while and I will be trying to spend as much time with her at the park or the beach in the morning before I go to work while the weather is nice. I haven't really been playing much online I am grinding it out on the O8 and Stud8 tables and building my bankroll back up slowly. I have set monetary benchmarks to hit before I move up a level and sticking to it, unlike in the past when I got ahead of myself and decimated my bankroll. I would like to play some more tourneys but my work schedule still is not conducive to that. I am still itching to get up to Foxwoods, I haven't been able to play live in over six months and my live bankroll is burning a hole in my lock box downstairs in the basement. I just heard that the are running a $3,000 buy in deep stack tourney up there and you can satellite in starting at $60, next tourney is on July 19th I'll see if I can get up there soon.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Finally had the party...

We finally had the friends over for the official 40th B'day party and a good time was definitely had by all. I don't know if the munchkin understood that it wasn't my birthday again so soon and why she only had one and seem like Daddy had more than one. She did enjoy all the people that were there to play with her because she is three and that is really the only reason anyone comes over now. I got a couple more gift certificates to the camera shop so I am a bit more than half way to my new digital camera. I of course don't want just any camera I want a Canon SLR digital that can take my lens from my Elan II. I will have to pay dearly even with the money I received as gifts but I know it will be worth it.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Not Enough Time

I haven't had as much time once again to post as much a I would like and I also haven't had as much time to play poker as I would like. It seems that every time that I get a chance to play something in the back of my head is making me tentative to play, maybe it's because there is something else important I should be doing. Let's just being with the fact that a couple of Sundays ago we had the nor'easter tear through and leave several gallons of water in my carpet in the basement and spend the five days hoping that the new dehumidifier would suck it out 60 pints at a time (I know it was wishful thinking). I finally decide for the safety of my family so they would not die of mold poisoning, is there such a thing, I would rip out the carpet and clean out the basement. Now we can start using it as an office for my wife, TV/Playroom for the munchkin and a computer area for me to play poker. Now we can remove the laptops from the kitchen table and reclaim it for the purpose it was intended for.

I guess the time we spend making our lives better and more productive is always time well spend. I would rather have more time than more money because money can always be replaced but the time lost can never be replaced. I really enjoy playing poker even with the ups and downs in my bankroll. I have also learned a bunch about myself while playing, poker has become a mirror for my life, but I would never sacrifice the time I get to spend with my family for any game because that is too important to me. Right now I have been very fortunate to be working afternoon to evenings hours at my job because I get to spend most of the waking hours with my daughter and even though I don't get to read her a bedtime story, I do get to go to gym class, music class and just hang out with her at the beach in the summer more then most dads do. I have made career choice that might not seem right to some other people but the time these first years of her life that I have been able spend with her are worth more money than I could have earned in a high powered career.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

40 years and 1 week or so

I made it through the first week of the second half of my life and the funny thing is that I don't feel any older than I did a week ago or even a couple of years ago. My hair started turning gray a few years ago which I guess is better than the rest of my family, my Mom and Sister went gray in their twenties and even though my Father didn't go gray until his late thirties most of it had fallen out by his mid-twenties, shortly after my sister was born. Now that I'm thinking about it the bulk of the gray turning happened after my daughter was born. What's going to happen when she turns twelve and wants to go to the mall with her "boyfriend"? Let me get her in kindergarten first I'll worry about that later.

On the poker scene I have been sticking with the Omaha8 game and added some Pot Limit play to that and I have had some success in the low limits. I am not sure if I like playing this versus the limit game I will give it a few more goes and see what happens. I am going to continue to add some sit'ngos to the mix when I can dedicate more than a half an hour to my play. My real life just keeps getting in the way of my poker life but I guess with the hours I work, a three year old and everything that goes with it, that's just the way it goes. If I could win Powerball I could do whatever the hell I want but when you can't even match one lousy number...well need I say more. Is there such thing as Powerball tilt?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

F-Day eve

T-minus less then 24hrs until I turn 40. I guess I should be taking stock of my life and accept the fact that I'm officially middle aged. The funny thing about it is that I really don't feel as old as I am. I guess it the difference between being childlike as opposed to being childish. I refuse to act my age and grow a pot belly and get cranky, but I have no problem going gray now, as long as my hair stays in my head I could care less what color it turns. My goals for the next 40 years of my life is to be happy, healthy and wealthy in love and money and of course to play as much poker as I can for as long as it makes me happy.

Monday, April 2, 2007

Rest and Relaxation

We just got back from our trip to Pocono Palace or the land of love, as they like to call it. The wife and I had some alone time together and it was long over due and well worth it. We have been to the Poconos a number of times before and we always have a great time. It is a bit on the tacky, dated side but how can you go wrong with a heart shaped pool and a champagne glass jacuzzi in your room. I ate too much, drank too much and did other stuff just enough. We went driving in the mountains to see if we could find a candle shop that we stumbled across a couple of trips past. It was this great shop with rows and rows of candles in every possible scent, these huge double scented, double wicked things that were scented from cotton candy to the cliched french vanilla. We motored up down the rolling hills of Pennsylvania, but we just didn't make it up the right hill to find that particular shop. What we did find the road that could lead us to The Promise Land. An actually green and white road sign came out of nowhere and pointed us onto the road to salvation. Yes, I thought, just like you, that prayers and good deeds would get you there but no a tank of gas and a good GPS is all you need. Needless to say we opted not to turn.

This trip was the first time we left the munchkin with her grandmother for more than one night and it was a bit traumatic for my wife. I had a slight bit of apprehension only in sense of would she go to sleep for my mom the second night after the novelty of it all wore off or would she remember that someone other than her mom or dad can take her to do potty. My wife for some reason felt that we were being negligent parents, it's something that she got over very quickly once we got there and took our first dip in the pool. I think that as long as we leave her with someone responsible and not the descendants of the Mason clan we are doing our jobs as parents.

On the poker front I have been splitting time between playing some heads up sit'ngos, single table sit'ngos and some of the split games. I have haven't really played many heads up games and I sometimes like them. I have found if I can take the lead early I can dispatch the other guy most of the time before we even get out of the first level. It is interesting to see what some people will play and if you have any sense of how to play you position in spite of your cards you can exploit some pretty bad play. If you get some one who plays to tight and doesn't know to raise on the button, unless he has some premium cards, you can steal blinds with just about anything. The fact is that when playing heads up you really do have to be willing to die in order to live. You have to stick your neck out sometimes knowing you are taking the worst of it and hoping to win the coin flip races. I just got tired of having my pockets Jacks running into Aces or Kings at least fours times in the last week. I may never play them again, well not this week, ask me again after I bust someone on a weak Ace or something the like.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Got to get some live play parts I & II

Part I

Sitting at my kitchen table playing online on my laptop is just not hacking it. I have got to get up to Foxwooods and sit down at a real table with real chips and ugly mustard yellow felt under my hands. I have to be able to look someone in the eyes and get a read off them. I have been honing my skills online but my schedule these days doesn't afford me much time to get any serious play in. I take care of the munchkin during the day going to tumblin' tot's, music class and swim lessons and then working evenings. I could forgo sleep but this boy is one grumpy, depressed sleep deprive cranky ass, when I don't get my beauty sleep to many nights in a row. I want to build my bankroll, that's sitting downstairs in my lock box, until I can play at a real level and do some serious fish hunting. It's not that things online haven't been going well they have been but I am not going to go in to specifics because every other time I have either journaled or blog somewhere else about my successes I have gone on a bad beat parade. I have suffered from some hubris before and I think I have gotten that in check but I don't want to but a jinx on it. I have to win a couple more hundred before I can move up a level soon in my live play but it is really hard to do that when you can't get to the casino to play. Once again like I have said work has been interesting and I haven't been able to get any time off, well I have this week, but I am going to go away with the wife for a couple nights and the munchkin will be staying with her grandmother for two nights of complete spoiling and we will get some much needed alone time together. No work, no poker, and we will enjoy it to the max. A big milestone B'day is coming up in a couple of weeks and I would love to spend it playing live but if I don't get to do that I just want the night off from work, go out for a nice dinner and not have to think about anything important for just one day.

Part II

I began typing this post on Saturday night and even though I didn't post it the mere mention of running well put out there in the universe resulted in a bad beat hit parade on Sunday. I am not a superstitious man but playing games of chance for me, chances are I am going to lose a bunch of money. I like poker because knowing the odds and getting your money in with the best of it will pay off in the long run. I was playing Stud8 and things like hitting a set and losing to a higher one or starting with 234s missing the str8 or flush but making a 75432 and losing the low half to a, yes this actually happened, 7543A and getting scooped because he had a A high and I only had a J. Then I looked over my stats and saw that I was winning money at showdowns almost 70% of the time but I was only able to scoop 8% of those pots. I don't mean to tell bad beat stories and this isn't really about the beats it's about creating a positive attitude about playing and looking for the positive in even in the losses. I guess sometimes if you put it out there in some form or another it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think the negativity I have been feeling around myself has permeated the cells of my being and usually I am the most optimistic person in the bunch. I am going to start working on some creative visualization exercises and create more positive vibes around me which could be beneficial to my life in general as well as my bankroll.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Sunday and I finally have an Internet Connection...

On Friday it snowed like a mother here in CT and I didn't have to go to work that night and I thought I would do some fish hunting online because I usually don't get home close to 11 pm and I only get to play few hands before I pass out and have to hit the hay. So, I get the call at 3pm that I get to stay home and all the freaks that would risk their lives to workout at the Y would have to what for another day. The munchkin was taking a nap and I fire up PokerStars for some O8. I get some hands in and then I lose my connection and the computer can't find renew my IP address. I run downstairs to the router and reset it and drag the network cable up to bypass my wireless connection to the lap top. Some more tinkering and then I am up and running bypassing the wireless router. My wife's lap top can't connect but she finds one of our neighbors unsecured network to piggie back on, it's slow but she can get things she need to finish up business for the night.

Saturday morning I dig the cars out from the awful job the plowers did, who by the way aren't getting paid because I never signed the contract and the still seem to come even though I would rather they didn't. I go to my instructor's karate tournament and help judge some young kids just starting out in the Tang Soo Do experience, and then head over to Staples to get a new router. I went with the Linksys and got a new network card to match. Drop just over $100 and head home with the expectation that I can handle this. How hard can it be? They give you a CD and you just click away.

Well...things didn't go as expected. I plug everything in and follow all of the directions and nothing was working, even worst I think I screw things up even more. I call the helpline and I am on hold for what seems like forever. I luckly poured a beer before I called and the longer I wait the more I feel like opening up the whiskey I save for cool summer nights with a nice cigar on the porch, but now I am just looking to numb the pain. I finally get someone on the line and he talks me through a couple of things and then says I should use the easy install disc which he is not allowed to talk me through. I get a case number and a more direct line in case this doesn't work. I get jammed up in the same spot and call them back just like I knew I would. I get another guy who has me pinging sites and reconfiguring the admin setting and going back and forth from screen to screen and then low and behold I have a connection and everything is working right and I thanked him for the hour of work he did with me. I enter the kitchen with lap top in hand and announce my victory over the machine and sit down to check my mail. Well needles to say it was the shortest lived victory that I have ever experienced when I lost my connection again. I just shut the laptop and headed to bed because it was worth it and I was beat.

This morning I fired up the laptop and I had a connection and everything seemed to be working great and I was online all morning and then all of a sudden it crapped out again. I decide that I more than likely it's the actually cable modem and head over to COMPUsa which is going out of business, atleast the one in our town, and get one of the last modems they at 30% off. I hold my breath as I plug it in becuase all sales there are final and low and behold everything is working.

I feel I am rather smart and know a little bit about a bunch of stuff but when it comes to computer techie stuff I understand most of the concepts but I just don't know what to do in the practical sense. I also think you should get an actually tech to come to you house and assist you in the installation process, it is probably cheaper in the long run then training a bunch of tech types in India to speak with and American accent.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Hubris or Am I a Donkey?

Why is it that every time I sit down to play poker I expect to leave with more than I came with and can't understand why I can't beat any given game I play? I understand that I have this habit of thinking that if I want it and I feel that I should have it everyone in the world should see it my way and go along with it. It's not that I am selfish, like I am some spoiled rotten kid that wants a new toy in the store it's that I see something that is important to me and I feel I would be perfect for that situation. I have done that with job interviews where I can't possible understand why they should hire anyone else and can't figure out why they went with the other guy. I could deal with this if it gave me the confidence to present myself in the best light but I think most of the time it comes off as arrogance and the interviewer doesn't want and arrogant employee.

I just had a situation at work where my new boss wasn't going to give me an interview for a promotion that I applied for, even though I and most of my co-workers believe I would be perfect for the position. I had to go and plead my case and I guilted him into giving me an interview. I went into it with nothing to lose, considering he didn't want to give me the interview I was behind the eight ball to begin with, I had written it off and this was about saving face and not about the job. I walked out thinking that it was one of the worst interviews I had ever given but I held my own under some serious grilling by the selection committee. Low and behold they did offer the job to someone else and I was told that I was in contention. The job still hasn't been filled because of a salary dispute but my boss seems to have a new founded respect for me in the interim.

What does this have to do with poker? It doesn't exactly have to do with poker but with the fact that poker is a mirror for life. I tend to approach the lower limit tables with the attitude that I can beat the game and that everyone is there to donate to my cause. Just like when I want something in life I have always felt it was mine for the having and get very befuddled when it doesn't happen. I have in my almost 40 years of life been able to get over this type of thinking except when it has come to my poker game. I am definitely better at holding these feelings in check when I am playing live at the casino but when I am alone at my computer in the safety of my home the old feelings come over me. I have an innate sense of people and I think I rely on this when I am playing live and I lose this when I am playing online. I ignore my gut and assume everyone is less skilled then me. When I can't look in there eyes I jump to the wrong conclusions. I have always been someone who uses intuition over cold logic in dealing with people. Online you have to use more logic in studying trends and patterns and I have always be better at feel and intuition.

I think that in order to bring my poker to the next level I have to sit down at a table and assume everyone there is a better or at least an equal player as I am that is until proven otherwise. I also have got to go into games with the I have nothing to lose attitude, not that I have to gamble recklessly, but that as long as I make the right decisions I will win in the long run even if I take some bad beats along the way.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Tilt, Work and Bad Beats....

I could have been on tilt from a situation at work but I actually kept my cool and reason prevailed. I wish I could say the same for my poker game right now. Work has shown me that even if things aren't going the way that I think they are or should go I could still come out looking better and gaining some much needed respect even if that didn't translate to a new position as of yet. My boss seems to be responding to me differently or maybe he took what I had to say in the interview to heart and is changing his tune. Only time will tell.

Just like work I feel as if I am playing better but just staying afloat. I have been looking over my hand histories and I think I am playing correct but just can seem to win any of the races right now. I have been playing low level HORSE and Stud8 (because the bankroll is not where I would like it) and it's just been up and down and I am really not finding the enjoyment in playing that I have been having before. I think like anything I have been to much results focus instead of correct play focused. I also think I have been a bit stressed about the work situation and need a much needed vacation from everything to recharge or maybe I just need to get more sleep. I keep telling my daughter she can sleep in but she's three and the potty is more important at 6am then sleep and for some reason she always wakes me up instead of the wife. Soon as I can get her to make her own pancakes in the morning I will be able to have a couple more minutes of sleep and by the time she is four she should be able to brew mommy and daddy a pot of coffee that is if she really wants to show us how much she loves us.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Tilt, FreeCell, Work or Poker...

I think my play has been affected by the losing streak I have been experiencing playing FreeCell. I have had a 72% n rate playing over 3,000 games and I have just drop to 70% and I think it is becoming toxic to my poker game. I think all of the card gods are lining up to so me in and I don't know what type of sacrifice I need to offer them in order to change their minds. Should I dance naked under the full moon and offer poker chips up to the four elements? Should I burn green candles on a poker table and use smudge stick of sage to banish the bad vibrations? Maybe I should just look at my play in all of my games, and life, and analyze what is that I may or may not be doing right or wrong.

Actually I think most of what I have been going through in my poker game has been a direct reflection of what has been going on in my life. I think I have most everything figured out and then something comes up that just throws that into the ditch. I thought that the time I have put into my job was going to pay off with some recognition and advancement once it was presented to me. I was handed a bad beat this week. I just may have not had thought how important table image is and that even though you think that you are perceived one way you have to look at yourself through the eyes of the other players. I haven't been able to think on that level all of the time when playing and I haven't really give it much thought in my job. What I am getting at is that everything is interconnected and haven't thought about the fact that the energy at work has been carried over into my poker game and vice versa. I think one of the reason I am a better live player is that I have to drive 2 hours and really want to make the most of it and I play smart so my effort is not wasted. I have to think about the fact that when I sit down at the computer and play online that this time is important, not just to kill time before going to bed, if I play just to fill time then I might as well go to bed and save some money. I also have to approach my job in that manner, even if the situation isn't what I hope it is I have to find a reason that is more than collecting a paycheck to be there. I have been on work tilt for awhile and the situation I’m in isn't anyone’s fault other than my own. Even though things haven't work out for the best I have to get off tilt and be more positive about it

Anyway, I may still dance naked under the moon and burn some sage because hell it could be fun and what could it hurt.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

RAZZ this

I have had every intention to keeping this blog up and running but as we can see from my list of entries it hasn't really happened. I haven't been able to commit the time and effort that has been needed. I have been experiencing some upheaval at my job and have gotten the royal screw over, at least for the time being. Poker playing has been relatively good January has seen an increase in my bankroll all thanks to fish hunting on the low limit HORSE tables on FullTilt. I ended the month up, which hasn't happened in a long time mostly to the Razz hands. I have an overall +EV in this of all games. So in my infinite wisdom I thought I would spend one afternoon playing just that Razz. Well, needless to say I gave most of it back in a very painfully way but is there any other way to lose in this game. Razz is a great game if you have chasers but some days all of their draws and miracle card land in their hands in not in yours and that was what I felt was happening to me last Sunday. I looked over my hand history and for the most part I had the best of it going to the river on most hands and someone always seemed to sneak by with a slightly better hand. I'd have a 76 and someone would have the 75 or I would have 6543A and the other guy would have 6532A it was just the story of day and is how it goes. It's the joys and anguish of this game so I will stick to playing it in HORSE for the time being when all of the Hold'em and Omaha guys play a rough 8 and 9 against my smooth 7. Instead of playing against people who actually know what it is that they are doing. I thought I knew what it was that I was doing but maybe I was wrong

Sunday, January 14, 2007

My HORSE crosses the line...

HORSE once again is treating my well and I don't really know if I am playing well or the rest of the players are playing so badly. I take it but I really have to do some analysis of my play and see what is what. I am playing the lowest limits there are right now and I have been doing some hit and runs and rack up a tidy little profit. I have taken a beating on playing Omaha8 in the last few months. I got into situations where I pushed hands to hard and took things to far when I could tell I was beat. I seem to be doing ok though while playing HORSE, I think the low limit games have attracted mostly Hold'em players and they haven't taken the time to learn the games before they start. Seeing just 10 hands around is no substitute the thousand of hands I have seen, even if I have lost at them, well not all of them. I've always done fairly good at Stud and all of its variations so I have a 3 out 5 game advantage and I always like those odds. For right now like I said I will take the wins and slowly rebuild my bankroll one win at a time

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The First of Many

I have decided to take up the blogging thing here and see how it goes. My ramblings will be mostly about poker but I will also be bring up topics that I like, be it politics, home life, or whatever random thoughts that I have.

I have been playing poker online for the past few years and have not been able to quit my day job as of yet but it has been an interesting experience and I hope to share some of my ups and downs with you all here. I also enjoy playing live up at Foxwoods whenever I get a chance. I am primarily a low limit Hold’em player there right now. I would have a better bankroll from those trips if I had just stuck to playing the low limit Hold’em games instead of getting greedy and using my profits to buy-in to their tournaments. The structure for the low buy in tourneys sucks, the blind increase to quick compared to stack size and the vig is awful. I have been able to make it fairly deep in each one I have played but I have been able to make it past the bubble.

Hopefully I will be able to have some fun here and sharing whatever it is that we all think is worth sharing.