Why is it that every time I sit down to play poker I expect to leave with more than I came with and can't understand why I can't beat any given game I play? I understand that I have this habit of thinking that if I want it and I feel that I should have it everyone in the world should see it my way and go along with it. It's not that I am selfish, like I am some spoiled rotten kid that wants a new toy in the store it's that I see something that is important to me and I feel I would be perfect for that situation. I have done that with job interviews where I can't possible understand why they should hire anyone else and can't figure out why they went with the other guy. I could deal with this if it gave me the confidence to present myself in the best light but I think most of the time it comes off as arrogance and the interviewer doesn't want and arrogant employee.
I just had a situation at work where my new boss wasn't going to give me an interview for a promotion that I applied for, even though I and most of my co-workers believe I would be perfect for the position. I had to go and plead my case and I guilted him into giving me an interview. I went into it with nothing to lose, considering he didn't want to give me the interview I was behind the eight ball to begin with, I had written it off and this was about saving face and not about the job. I walked out thinking that it was one of the worst interviews I had ever given but I held my own under some serious grilling by the selection committee. Low and behold they did offer the job to someone else and I was told that I was in contention. The job still hasn't been filled because of a salary dispute but my boss seems to have a new founded respect for me in the interim.
What does this have to do with poker? It doesn't exactly have to do with poker but with the fact that poker is a mirror for life. I tend to approach the lower limit tables with the attitude that I can beat the game and that everyone is there to donate to my cause. Just like when I want something in life I have always felt it was mine for the having and get very befuddled when it doesn't happen. I have in my almost 40 years of life been able to get over this type of thinking except when it has come to my poker game. I am definitely better at holding these feelings in check when I am playing live at the casino but when I am alone at my computer in the safety of my home the old feelings come over me. I have an innate sense of people and I think I rely on this when I am playing live and I lose this when I am playing online. I ignore my gut and assume everyone is less skilled then me. When I can't look in there eyes I jump to the wrong conclusions. I have always been someone who uses intuition over cold logic in dealing with people. Online you have to use more logic in studying trends and patterns and I have always be better at feel and intuition.
I think that in order to bring my poker to the next level I have to sit down at a table and assume everyone there is a better or at least an equal player as I am that is until proven otherwise. I also have got to go into games with the I have nothing to lose attitude, not that I have to gamble recklessly, but that as long as I make the right decisions I will win in the long run even if I take some bad beats along the way.