I think I'm playing well...I think?

I have looked at the numbers and other than my bankroll that is getting smaller and I truly think that I am making all the right moves and just getting sucked out on. I have been back to playing O8 and I can't even count the number of times I have been counterfeited, or have a flush lose to a full house two outer with no other draw. I know this sounds like a bad beat rant but it's just been incredible and I have to vent and watching my wife sitting at her laptop shaking her head every time I have some sort of outburst is no solace. I ran so well for so long and I keep thinking this is just variance but dammit it's a Vitch. Oh well I guess maybe I'll switch games for a while or just hope for the cards to run to me instead of over me.

Old Mug

Can a coffee mug make you feel right with the world? I have this coffee mug and I am not sure quite when I got it, if I bought it for myself or if it was a gift. I know that I got around the time of my first marriage back in '92 which meant that I got custody of it in the separation in '93, the long story of the short marriage is for another post. The mug is done by Masters Collection and is an Untitled Picasso. It was exclusively used as my home coffee mug. I had another for work which is also from the same collection but is call "A Man in a Hammock" by Albert Gleizes. Both Cubist and for whatever reason spoke to me, but the Picasso always seemed to say more.

At some point I moved in with my parents while I got back on my feet. I met my current wife, fell in love, got married and moved out. For some reason the Picasso mug got left behind and I don't know why. I have to say that it is my all time favorite coffee mug and I would use it exclusively when I would have coffee at my Mom's place. I have been meaning to claim it and bring home to roost with me for I don't know how many years now. It has be part of my life through marriage, success, failure, death, numerous moves by me and my mother. I was at my Mom's this weekend for a family get together and I decided that it was time for me to take it home so it could serve its purpose every morning.

For the most part I'm not a sentimental person. I take the Buddhist line of thinking that we shouldn't become attached to anything because that attachment is the cause our suffering. With that said I don't think I have been suffering for the last several years that I have been separated from the mug but the comfort that it gives me makes sense in my world right now and I will have to see if it is the cause of any undue suffering. I don't really have that favorite T shirt, or flannel pants that most do, but a warm cup of coffee in my favorite mug just makes sense to me.

Haven't had much to say

Things have been going fairly well for me over the last few weeks. Work, as my last post has indicated, had to get better and it has. I am just a month away form being at my current job for five years and this is one of the longest tenure that I have had at any job. Granted that most of that was at part-time or just shy of full-time so no benefits could be paid. I find working for the Y a very fulling job, that is in the doing something to benefit all of society kind of way. I would just like the benefit my salary kind of way. This job has allowed me to be involved in the first almost 4 years of life of my daughter's life that I could not have had for all the money in the world. Now it's tie to get down to business and get to work at making some real money and as soon as I hit it big I will be glad to benefit society and write a nice check. Oh by the way I got nice watch at a breakfast the Y threw for us and some killer steak and egg burritos, so I guess it's all good.

Old Boss, No Boss, New Boss

The stupid evil one is gone the nicer newer boss is in and I had a good day at Foxwoods. It was a nice way to say goodbye to November and hello to December. I was able to tuck away a nice tidy win at the $2/4 table which was done in typical fashion for this level. Didn't get involved in too many hands in the 5 hours that I was there but my good ones held up and the marginal holdings improved enough. The most amazing thing was that I got pocket Kings two times in a row on the button and they held each time, well no Ace fell on the board because it was an Ace trash type of day up there.

In my last post I was moaning and groaning about my position in life when it has came to my career and now at least I don't dread showing up for my job now. I still think that striking out on my own may be the best possible solution. The thing is now I have some breathing room and I can set my plans down better and not have the feeling of desperation that I have had in the past few months. It seemed like the obstacles in my job were starting to seep into my personal life and effect many aspects of things be it my relationship with my family, poker playing or just driving around town. Fresh outlook, a bit of padding in bankroll, Christmas is coming, what more could a guy want? Well I could think of a few things but these will have to do for now ;p

New Boss, Same as The Old Boss

There comes a time in your life that you have to realize that the universe is trying to teach you something and if you could just open you mind and go with your gut you just might be able to hear what it is. Over the past ten months I have had to do too much soul searching about my life and mainly how my current employment is affecting it, then I would have like to. I believe I am finally coming to a point where I can't deny what it is that the universe is telling. I have had a very varied and interesting professional life but as I have said before here I have consistently had a good thing ruined by new management. I have looked at my response to the change and I have always given them the benefit of the doubt only to be trampled on. I also realize that this time I just may be in a pissing match and have refuse to quit and move on because that would give him just what he wants, but it just might be exactly what I need to do. I have many reasons to stay there but just one to leave and the pros have out weighed the con but the con is starting to take a toll on my life and my psyche. As much as I would love to win a seat in the latest addition of the WPT that is taking place up at Foxwoods in a couple of weeks, I know that is dream that may not come to be. I have allowed my fate to be in the control of others too many times in the past and I think I will only be happy when I take control and responsibility for it myself. As much as I would love to find out if I could cut my teeth grinding it out at the tables the reality is that it's just not a viable option right now. I am going to take another avocation and try to make into a vocation and use poker as a diversion and supplement to my new endeavor. I am starting to lay down the ground work and I think in the next couple of months I will be able to make my move and even if by miracles of miracles senior management sees the errors of their ways and fire Mr. Stupid I think I will still leave and strike out on my own. It will be best for me.

...Good Day at Work.

A bad day of poker is better than a good day of work. Well it almost was a bad day but I pulled out a small profit in the end but was it ever hard fought. I know when you are playing $2/4 at Foxwoods it sometimes can get a bit frustrating. I was better than the last time I went up there I was lucky to walk out with what little profit I did, it was amazingly sedate that day. There was bit more energy there yesterday. The games at that level up there always are loose passive types and there isn't much you can do, but put your head down and hope that the chasers stay there long enough that when you do get you big pairs they chase their draws and the odds turn on them. It was one of those days of tight up front loose in the back and most of those paid off for me but it was up and down, more down then up, for most of the day. When I got there the just called a new table and it took some time to get the feel for what was going on. There wasn't much raising pre-flop because it rarely did anything to thin the field, in for one why not two kind of thinking. This only gave the other players to more reason to chase even though I don't think any of them had any idea of pot odds. In the course of my play I got pocket Aces twice, Kings,Queens and Big Slick once and raised every time and they held up. I might as well have turn my hand up it was so transparent but nobody really pays attention so this made up for all of the river suck outs when I would flop two pair with over cards and someone would stick it out and trip up on the river, lost count how many times that happened. I still had fun and as long as I leave the table with more than I came with whether it is $2 or $200 it's still better then a good day at work.

I also was amazed that someone would straddle a this level. This old lady who sat down and won one pot off the top decided that a straddle bet would go good with a Mai Tai with Meyers dark and whipped cream on a cold rainy day at low limit hold'em in a casino in the hills of Connecticut. I was sitting to her left and was the benefactor of her folly one time. I guess if I was going to gamble it up I would at least follow through with a bet on the flop regardless of my two cards. The time I was able to beat her she check called me to the river with a pair of threes and a eight kicker. Got to love it. Then there was the young studious guy who just couldn't catch a break every time he had a good hand someone would make one just slightly better. Young loose guy got lucky a couple of times playing trash hands but pretty much broke even for the day, he even tried bluffing out a table of calling stations. Angry old guy in the ten seat who would check in the dark if he had middle pair or was on draw and would only bet or raise when he had a lock. Or kind old lady to my left who would call with small flushes and lose to bigger ones. Just your typical day of low limit Hold'em at the biggest casino in the world. I am looking forward to when my bankroll is healthy enough to move up a level. I won't even talk about the Act I sitn'go for the Foxwoods World Poker Finals I was first out and was beat by a stack that was being blinded out because he was in another sitn'go. The high point of this game was I drew the Ace of spades for the button and it was all down hill from there. Not good, not good at all.

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