Got to get some live play parts I & II

Part I

Sitting at my kitchen table playing online on my laptop is just not hacking it. I have got to get up to Foxwooods and sit down at a real table with real chips and ugly mustard yellow felt under my hands. I have to be able to look someone in the eyes and get a read off them. I have been honing my skills online but my schedule these days doesn't afford me much time to get any serious play in. I take care of the munchkin during the day going to tumblin' tot's, music class and swim lessons and then working evenings. I could forgo sleep but this boy is one grumpy, depressed sleep deprive cranky ass, when I don't get my beauty sleep to many nights in a row. I want to build my bankroll, that's sitting downstairs in my lock box, until I can play at a real level and do some serious fish hunting. It's not that things online haven't been going well they have been but I am not going to go in to specifics because every other time I have either journaled or blog somewhere else about my successes I have gone on a bad beat parade. I have suffered from some hubris before and I think I have gotten that in check but I don't want to but a jinx on it. I have to win a couple more hundred before I can move up a level soon in my live play but it is really hard to do that when you can't get to the casino to play. Once again like I have said work has been interesting and I haven't been able to get any time off, well I have this week, but I am going to go away with the wife for a couple nights and the munchkin will be staying with her grandmother for two nights of complete spoiling and we will get some much needed alone time together. No work, no poker, and we will enjoy it to the max. A big milestone B'day is coming up in a couple of weeks and I would love to spend it playing live but if I don't get to do that I just want the night off from work, go out for a nice dinner and not have to think about anything important for just one day.

Part II

I began typing this post on Saturday night and even though I didn't post it the mere mention of running well put out there in the universe resulted in a bad beat hit parade on Sunday. I am not a superstitious man but playing games of chance for me, chances are I am going to lose a bunch of money. I like poker because knowing the odds and getting your money in with the best of it will pay off in the long run. I was playing Stud8 and things like hitting a set and losing to a higher one or starting with 234s missing the str8 or flush but making a 75432 and losing the low half to a, yes this actually happened, 7543A and getting scooped because he had a A high and I only had a J. Then I looked over my stats and saw that I was winning money at showdowns almost 70% of the time but I was only able to scoop 8% of those pots. I don't mean to tell bad beat stories and this isn't really about the beats it's about creating a positive attitude about playing and looking for the positive in even in the losses. I guess sometimes if you put it out there in some form or another it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think the negativity I have been feeling around myself has permeated the cells of my being and usually I am the most optimistic person in the bunch. I am going to start working on some creative visualization exercises and create more positive vibes around me which could be beneficial to my life in general as well as my bankroll.